WWE: Top 3 Oscar-worthy performances

The Undertaker and Kane!
The Undertaker and Kane!

The professional wrestling industry has seen its fair share of campy segments, underwhelming reveals, under-explained supernatural elements as well as confusing commentary.

There have been outrageous segments on a level that defies beliefs. But everything has its faults, especially when the total number of episodes for each of the two major shows of the WWE TV programming is just too many to count.

The WWE is referred by many as a fake soap opera with no real substance. But like any other sport, it has a traditional heritage. For every bad segment, there is a good one as well. There are moments in history that are great sporting achievements. Snapshots of sheer brilliance. The nature of wrestling gives the fans an entertainment value on par with any sport.

In honour of those moments, I have created a list of three of the best moments where someone from the WWE deserved an Oscar nomination. I tried to limit the list to non-wrestling segments, and resist the urge to just rewrite this entire thing as a tribute to Paul Heyman's exquisite talent.


#3: The Undertaker rises from the dead to confront Kane, 1998.

Big boot to Kane!
Big boot to Kane!

The Brothers Of Destruction have come a long way, trading Paul Bearer back and forth, evolving as characters over almost two decades of domination. If there ever was a soap opera storyline in the WWE, it’s the Undertaker and Kane saga.

Though the in-ring action may not have backed up the storytelling the wacky, fun, outrageous nature of those stories made their program must-see television. But there was something about the story, perhaps the supernatural element and the ever-important “cool factor” kept people interested.

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This particular event took place on RAW in 1998, a few weeks before the game-changing PPV, WrestleMania 14. The lighting, the sound, the look of arrogance on Paul Bearer’s face, that segment had it all.

The WWE shames other sports and entertainment entities when it comes to pulling off elaborate live theatrics such as this, and they usually involved the Undertaker. Are we going to mock that, but celebrate daytime soaps, where guys like these can teach acting classes to aspiring daytime stars?

#2: Paul Heyman goes off on Vince McMahon, Smackdown 2001

Paul Heyman and Vince McMahon?
Paul Heyman and Vince McMahon?

As you know from watching WWE, Paul Heyman is a national treasure, his disembodied voice destined to be stored in a government bunker for future civilizations to hear in case of an apocalyptic event.

He’s been in the wrestling business since he was a teenager. He created a rebellious promotion that pushed WWE & WCW to darker and more lucrative places. He’s been a writer, manager, producer, check bouncer and an advocate to Brock Lesnar.

Have you seen him hit someone with a cell phone? Well, here’s Heyman doing just that to Jason Harvey, who played Wayne from the Wonder Years. That’ll teach Wayne for being a supervillain.

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He’s been hitting a home run in every plate appearance for nearly 3 decades but this promo, a few days before the poorly written Invasion angle was finished, is Heyman at his best. Fiery, righteous, and spewing the truth in the grill of Vince McMahon. Dropping pipebombs before Phil Brooks was better known as CM Punk.

#1: Mark Henry's fake retirement speech

Mark Henry talking about his career!
Mark Henry talking about his career!

From the moment Mark Henry appeared on stage in a jacket coloured like the inside of a gutted fish, the audience could tell something was different. It’s not often someone saunters into a place with lyrics like, “Somebody is gonna get their wig split” playing over the instrumental while wearing something stained with the blood of a million Peeps.

When he tells John Cena, “You can put your guard down”, everyone followed along, not just the champ in the ring. When you watch the clip, make note of how Henry effortlessly and deliberately loses his bearing, step by step, in a controlled manner. It’s a captivating performance, from an untrained actor in front of a live television audience. Like all WWE wrestlers and personalities, Mark Henry hopped in the booth and one took it.

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Mark Henry’s legacy is tied to his "Hall of Pain" run on Smackdown in 2012, which was immortalized in WWE 2K15 a few years ago. After 16 years, the creative staff finally figured out a way to present Mark Henry that was effective and profitable: let him destroy opponents and snarl at his vanquished foes. Radical thinking, I know. Let’s make sure that Mark Henry’s Oscar calibre retirement speech is included in that conversation going forward.

What makes Sting special? His first AEW opponent opens up RIGHT HERE.